"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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