I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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