Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
