Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
