Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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