She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
