when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
