this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
