You made me cry and you don't even care
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
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i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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