I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i think my mom watched the whole time
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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