Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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