i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
