You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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