does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
