So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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