What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
