He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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