He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
