i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
