no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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