Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
