Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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