my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
