when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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