What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
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