It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
