I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
