Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
