I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
