he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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