I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She's the barista slut.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
