Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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