i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
