Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need to calm my uterus...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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