we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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