he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize