I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
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it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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