Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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