waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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