Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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