we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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