why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
