i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
