so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
