so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
