Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
