u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
