I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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