Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize