..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
