im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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