Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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