Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
