So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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