So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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