I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
