Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
