I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
