My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize