i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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