I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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