hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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