I cut my penus on the lid.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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